My nerves are still not doing so well. After the concert where my social anxiety really made me nervous I sort of thought/hoped I only needed to get a good night's sleep and I'd feel better. And I did feel better yesterday. But I did'n feel ok. So I bought myself a bag of potato chips and I ate them last night. Comfort eating used to calm my nerves just enough to allow me to fall asleep at night. This time.... not so much. I did fall asleep for about 3 hours. But then I woke up at 2.30 (well, this was when I was beginning to get annoyed about having woken up) and did not feel tired at all until sometime around 5-5.30.
Now it's 11.15 and I am still in my bed. I feel nauseaus from the chips last night and I feel like I should have been up and about for at least 2-3 hours by now.
This getting out of bed way later than expected-thing has been happening for this entire week now. And from Monday I have to get up at 6 in order to get to my internship. What the hell is going on with me??
Plan: -Today I will update my tumblr so I am no longer behind with it and so that I am hopefully up to date with posting for the rest of this month.
-I will see if the windy weather calms down later and go for a run.
-I will not comfor eat at all today. And try and have a carb-free day all together.
-I will go to bed at 21.30-22 tonight. No later than that!
I need to get my sleep cycle back to a good and comfortable place.
I'm a Heathen. I believe in the Norse gods and I believe in different beings from the Scandinavian folklore. I am not religious as in doing lots of rituals, talking about my faith all the time, or trying to convince others that they should believe in the same as me.
Also, I have one big issue with my faith because... yes, I believe in the Norse gods... but I have a problem with believing in gods. I can not really see how there can be beings greater than humans... but still I feel a longing for the Norse gods in my heart. I think about them daily and I "talk" with them almost daily. Despite this I see Odin as my spiritual "father". I feel a deep connection with him. I also feel a deep connection with nisser -especially the one that lives in our house. I love him because he seems to like me and Henrik. At least enough to move along with us from my last home. :)
It annoys me that so many people that have other faiths laugh at my faith. They don't think that anybody can actually believe in the Norse gods. They are just characters in "fun" bedtime stories to them. How can it be so different to believe in the Norse gods than to believe in a monotheistic god? I do not understand that.
This evening is the first in nearly two weeks that I am not doing something related to moving. Henrik is asleep downstairs in a sofa. We are not entirely settled in the new house yet but it's close.
I am beginning to sell a lot of stuff that I no longer have room for. Am selling them via facebook and there's a guy coming by tomorrow to buy at least 3 of the sales I got going online. He'll come and look at all the things I haven't put up for sale yet, too. I hope he'll buy a LOT of things!
Thesis got handed in in time but I am 90% certain I failed this time. I know what I didn't do well enough so on Monday I will make a plan of what I need to do in order to pass it the 2nd time around.
Even though I have not been online on LJ for aaaaages I don't really have much to say because I spent the last month and a half working on my thesis and moving together with Henrik. It's been f***ing tough but I'm a tough girl so I did not die from it. Lol. I hope you are all doing fine! :)
ok... so I made a profile on FB. I am not gonna add every single person I know as my fb-friends but this far I've added my mom, my brother, Henrik and a few of my closest friends. I just hope that people I decline being friends with won't be too upset. LOL. I think I might send a message to those people I decline with an explanation of why I do not want to be friends on Fb and let them know that it's not because I hate them... I just want to keep my friends' list for the closest of my friends and family. I think it's good that I've made up my mind about this already....
So typical, that when my mom saw that I was on FB again she immediatly started "oh, and then you can also add *insert names of people I have not seen in about 10-15 years*. I guess she didn't realise that I prefer to keep my friends' list not chaotic....
talking of chaotic friends' lists... my brother has 990 friends on fb (he literally does). that is a LOT of people! The scary thing is that he actually does know every one of these people and see them all on a somewhat regular basis. he is in several gymnastics teams, knows a lot of people from boarding school and high school etc etc. But still... how on earth can he have so many friends...!?!?!? fucking crazy if you ask me!
All this modern stuff.... I am not sure I'm that good at it. LOL
Just found out that one of the posts that I made on Tumblr can now be found at some weird website that seems to be Indonesian (or someone who is very much into contemporary Indonesian business-stuff) and has a page on said site where a lot of (seemingly) random Tumblr posts are to be found.
That is mega weird and I'm not sure if I should be worried or not....
My period starteda day early. Yesterday. As I was packing down Henrik's kitchen. I was not at all prepared for it since my period has been 2-14 days late every time this year exceptonce when it was on time. So... yesterday I bled through my panties and stockings. And I was afraid I didn't have any clean stockings so.... it was not funny at all. About an hour after the period started the pain began. It feels a bit like someone kicked me in the lower back and when it doesn't feel like my spine is falling apart it feels like a huge bruise around my spine. Like a sore bruise IN the bones. I am on the brink of being nauseaus pretty much constantly because of the pain. At least, this time, I only ALMOST am nauseaus instead of actually being it.
On top of this my joints are so f***ing weak. Just walking up the tiniest wee hill (pretty much just a bump on the road) and my knees hurt. If I stand on one leg and let the other dangle in the air my hip joint aches.
And I am a bit dizzy every now and then. And I am freezing!
Normal pain killers do not help. A few months ago mother Sonja (a friend's mother) gave me some pretty serious pills she uses against pain related to her arthrisis. I know it's unwise to accept pills from anybody but a doctor but in times of desperation.... and they would make my menstrual pain barable for an hour or two. But I don't have more of these pills so there's nothing to do but to try to cope with the pain.
The plumbers finished their work today so I have tried to forget about the pain by putting my stuff back in the right places. I am getting stuff put back... but I need to take all those annoying breaks because the pain gets so bad. :(
Went to blackmarket to see if anybody had written me a message. No one had. Then I saw a title on a thread in a forum that caught my eye. It was someone asking for the name of an erotic boardgame for couples. The guy who asked was..... AN EX BOYFRIEND OF MINE!!! Lol!
So typical him. He's the ex that was turned on by being strangulated. The one that found out he liked pain. A lot.
Well, I laughed and told Henrik about the thread. He asked if he could see a picture of the guy and yes, of course.
Turns out my ex gained AT LEAST 100 lbs since I broke up with him about 10 years ago. Fucking hell!!!
When I was with him he was very keen on continuing the weight loss he was working on. He had already lost a good amount of weight. A few years back we shortly talked again and he did say he no longer cared about his weight.
I can fucking see that, dude!!! Seriously. You really do NOT care anymore.
Today or tomorrow I might get an email from the housing association saying that in June Henrik and I can move into the home we looked at last Friday.
We are nr. 2 on the list for this house and yesterday nr. 1 had still not called the office with her answer. She saw the house last Wednesday so I hope it's a good sign that she didn't just call them asap and tell them she wanted it.
The house is a 2 stories row house. With a tiny garden. Kitchen, bathroom and medium-sized room (we plan to use this as dining-room) on the ground floor and on the top floor two small rooms (guest room and bedroom) and a big room (office and media-room. Books, computer, tvs and playing consols).
We WANT this!!!! So please cross your fingers that we'll get it.
So all homes in my near area will have this major plumming/repair thingy done. Some homes have had it done already.
I was told they would come here in late June and two weeks ahead. Today I got a letter telling me that the dates have been changed and the new date is April 22nd until May 9th! What!?!? That is not a long notice!!!
I have heard people complain about the mess (I will have to cover up EVERYTHING in my home and take my bird to Henrik's place. We probably have to basically live in his, by then, very empty apartment. He'll hand over the keys on May 15th). I am NOT looking forward to this AT ALL!!!
I do think, though that the work in my home will take one week and not two. It's just that the ppl are going to work on several homes at the same time. So it will probably not be 2 whole weeks of hell. But I am still not happy about it at all.
I have to clear out my walk-in closet (And I just got most of Henrik's clothes over), my bathroom, most of the kitchen (pretty much everything not in the fridge, drawers and cupboards. The things in there will probably be dusty after the plumming thing is done. =lots of dishes to wash) and half of my bedroom. And I have no idea where to put all those things! I can't really place it all at Henrik's because he's in the process of getting his stuff here.
I had hoped for the June-date because we might have moved away by then. But we will not have moved by the 22nd of this month.